When it’s time to try something new or do something difficult, I’ve learned the hard way that the best advice is to do what you know and learn as you go.

I like to research. Books, podcasts, articles, videos, mentors. Thanks to these tools I’ve learned to be a better parent, improved my communication, reorganized my closets, and gained new insights. But all this research has never saved me from interruptions, failures and worst of all, self-judgment.

Faith teaches me that tomorrow doesn’t have to look like today. But living that faith fully requires me to acknowledge that there’s a lot I don’t know.

The problem with my research is this. I read someone else’s story and become impressed by their happy ending. I make mental notes about “what not to do.” Knowing what I know, I reason, I should be able to avoid their errors and reach their happy ending without the suffering.

But nothing teaches so well as experience. Reluctantly I’m learning at least three things about learning.

You can’t really know how without doing

I have lots of projects on my To Do list. I’ve discovered that while I’m doing one task my mind quickly wanders to what else needs to be done. So, while I’m doing one thing, I feel guilty for not doing another. How is it that I can exercise the discipline of focusing on the task at hand and, at the same time, undermine that focus by critiquing my priorities and criticizing how long it takes to actually do something?

To really learn something, I need to do it. I’m learning to give myself permission to do one thing at a time.

You can’t know the end before you start

I started blogging this year. I’m finding that the actual writing is challenging enough, but my greatest anxiety comes from the process of building a website, getting word out about the site, and organizing the work for sustainability. Even harder, is to begin the task without knowing exactly where the project will take me. When the technology glitches out, or I encounter the inevitable writer’s block, I have to ask myself “Why am I doing this?” On my best days I can answer “Because the process itself is worth the effort.”

 Lady Catherine de Berg, of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, commenting on her love of music declared, “If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient.” Readers of the novel will know that Lady Catherine never “learnt.” I’m trying hard to avoid her example. I’m learning to give myself permission to start without seeing where the path may lead.

You can’t know more until you learn more

So what is the place of research and learning from others? I’m finding it as essential as ever when it accompanies my early steps and tentative investigations. Wisdom from others may not keep me from making mistakes, but it can point me in good directions and help me recover quickly.

This website, Living Faith*Fully is about putting your faith in action to gain confidence in the gifts God has given you and to use your unique capacity to uplift and encourage others https://milliewatkins.com/self-awareness-and-relationships/ While I’m not finding mentors to shield me from false starts and incidental discouragement, I am grateful for others that shine light on the process and pathway. Michael Clark and Christopher Hardin’s podcast, Coffee & Conversations provide great insight into Relationships, Faith and Leadership https://coffeeconvospodcast.podbean.com/ 

Zach Clark at Development and Leadership Coaching https://developmentandleadership.org/author/zach-clark-4/ inspires me with short, practical articles that get my own creativity going.

None of these examples exactly match my purpose. But mentors aren’t meant to do the work for me. I’m learning to give myself permission to trust my own experience, even as I’m learning from others.

Living Faith*Fully embraces the rhythms of calling, experience, learning and service that God has placed in each of us. I hope you’ll join me in discovering what’s next on your pathway and that you’ll give yourself permission to learn as you go.