“Ask and it will be given you. Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7). Since my earliest days in Sunday School, this verse has always seemed too good to be true. Really? All I have to do is ask God for something and “Abracadabra,” there it is? As I’ve wrestled with this idea across the years, I’ve come to believe that it’s not so much the promise of a magical outcome as it is a description of the way God works within me. When I fully live my faith, I learn that “Ask and you’ll receive” works even when it doesn’t. Let’s take a deeper look at what I mean by that.
Share Your Need in the Form of a Request
I learned early in my life to be cautious. My parents struggled with insecurities of their own. The church we attended strictly interpreted God’s call to holiness with rigid prohibitions. And every so often we received a letter from a close relative explaining how my family was missing the mark. I wanted to “be good,” but it seemed like good was a hard mark to hit. So, I learned to hide. Don’t tell anyone what you were thinking. Don’t let them know what you want. Don’t bother anyone. Don’t ask for anything.
Years later, seeking my own way to wholeness, I found a book that offered glimmers of relief. I wrote a letter to the author, including a sanitized summary of some of my struggles. I didn’t know exactly what to expect from this self-disclosure, but I did learn that I expected something when nothing came. I looked back at the letter I’d written. I thought I had asked the author for some kind of advice, some sort of response. But I had asked nothing.
It’s fair to consider that an unsolicited letter to an author is not exactly the best way to reach out for support. Perhaps I didn’t ask in the right way or ask of the right person. But the revelation for me was that I hadn’t asked at all. I couldn’t know if, “Ask and you’ll receive works,” if I failed to even ask.
Natalie Hilton describes this reluctance as “shutting down pathways to connection and putting up walls instead.” https://nataliehilton.com/stay-open-to-receiving-help/ My self-imposed barriers kept me from seeking the connection I needed. I built the wall of reluctance. Learning to ask became the first step to tearing it down.
Not long after my unanswered letter, the situation deteriorated, and my need increased. When distress became greater than my caution, I reached out to a counselor. That “Ask” has made all the difference.
Share Your Need When You Don’t Know What Happens Next
Asking is not a magic word that dissolves problems. More often than not, I’ve asked for God’s mercy in one place and found him working in another. Early on as I was learning to make requests, I remember calling a friend at a particularly lonely time. She couldn’t meet me and didn’t have time to talk. I hung up the phone and told myself I shouldn’t have asked. I began to hide away, and to admonish myself to deal with my problems alone. But I remember to this day, the gentle peace that came over me when I sensed God’s spirit guiding my heart to confess, “My needs are my needs, even when they aren’t met.” It hasn’t always been a straight pathway, but I have learned that opening my needs up to Jesus in prayer leads me around obstacles and guides me to satisfying places.
Share Your Need With Someone You Trust
Sharing my need out loud requires courage. “Is this really a need or just a selfish desire?” “Am I being too sensitive or was I truly overlooked?” Letting someone peer into my inner life opens the door to critique and misunderstanding. It also opens the door to connection, opportunity, and healing. What makes the difference? The person I choose to share with. There will always someone that doesn’t need to know what I need. But chances are good that there is also someone in my life that can encourage and clarify and guide.
Asking can be hard. We are vulnerable when we ask. But as I am learning to live Faith*Fully I find my Heavenly Father always ready to hear my need. His trustworthy love may point to a companion to ease my journey, to insight that lightens my burden, or to a new pathway that opens a whole new direction.
“Ask and you’ll receive”, works. It all begins with sharing my need and trusting God’s heart.