I grew up in 1960s Idaho. My family faced financial, medical and social difficulties that overshadowed my early years. We had a lot to worry about, but racial injustice was never at the forefront of my concerns.  Yes, the civil rights movement was taking shape on national TV, but I went to an all-White school and all our friends were White.  We were preoccupied with many concerns, but racial equity wasn’t one of them.

Learning in a Larger Context

When I went away to college my world opened up. I found friends from multiple states and a handful of other nations, representing at least three continents and half a dozen ethnic groups. It was a rich environment to learn more and consider assumptions from a new perspective. I was young and ready for new experiences. Sure, there were some awkward moments. Like the day I used my newly minted Spanish vocabulary to make an off-hand comment to my friend Victor. I still remember the startled look on his face when he explained to me that the word I thought I used didn’t mean what I thought it meant. Vocabulary 101.

Blunders aside, it was an exciting time to learn. Moving out of the dorm and into my first job and apartment, I carried my love of learning with me. I’ve tried to stay curious when I encounter new experiences or when I find myself in a messy situation that leaves me feeling isolated and insecure. It’s harder to do in the rough and tumble adult world. Someone has quipped, “When you are up to your neck in alligators, it’s hard to remember that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.”  Likewise, when you are trying to meet a work deadline, pay your bills, and keep your toddler out of the street, it can be hard to stay curious when you say something your neighbor finds offensive.

Learning Under Stress

I am convinced that living faith fully reaches for that curiosity especially at difficult times. When I feel left out. stung by misunderstanding, or offended by something that seems to threaten my equilibrium, I have a choice to make. Will I let the hurt turn me defensive, or will I wonder where the disconnect occurred and use the situation to re-examine my assumptions?

I’ve been blessed with opportunities to work and worship with friends from diverse ethnic and cultural backgrounds. My experiences draw me to celebrate the rich connections these friendships bring.  It was this kind of celebration that inspired me to write about my recent visit to Disneyland and the reminder from my favorite attraction that “it’s a small world after all.”  There truly is much that we share.  

But I’ve also learned that it’s a small world, until it isn’t.  While it’s true that we have much that binds us together, most of us approach difficult situations from a self-protective mindset that seeks to relieve ourselves of responsibility for the problems we face. Our interpersonal relationships are like a decorative mobile hanging from the ceiling. The beauty of the display depends on balance between the various elements that make up the decoration. When that balance is lost the whole display requires adjustment, not just a single element.

I’ve discovered that all my interpersonal relationships are in danger of becoming lopsided and tangled. These include not just close family ties, but also connections with neighbors, my community and my world. When things go sideways, I want to remember that the steps I take to realign my own position will improve things for everyone.  

Learning from New Voices

I love to read and listen to podcasts. I remember a few years ago hearing someone recommend that we take a look at the books and media in our personal libraries. Are we hearing from authors and speakers outside our own ethnic group?  When I took a closer look, I discovered that most of the authors and podcasters I’d chosen were White. I don’t think I had done so consciously, but I was startled to find a dearth of materials from Black and Brown authors.

At this same time, I was hearing questions and comments from family and friends, and certainly from the media about racial tensions and cultural clashes.  How could I understand the world around me without hearing from multiple voices?  

I invited new friends to join my reading table. Esau McCaulley, Michelle Ami Reyes, Derwin Gray, Ashlee Eiland, Karen Gonzalez, and many others. As I’ve been reading more broadly, I’m learning that I notice what I pay attention to. Seems like a no brainer, but the concept is more profound than it sounds. When I see a news headline about something outside my experience, I’m likely to dismiss it, unless I’ve heard from a friend who’s struggled with that issue. When it has affected my friend, I slow down and take a closer look. I begin to notice what I pay attention to. As I’ve expanded my author “friends” I am noticing lopsided views that I need to bring into balance.

Learning from Questions and Dialog

There are difficult and thorny questions to consider as we build a community of faith that welcomes sisters and brothers from every nation, tribe, people and language.

• How do we build a safe and hospitable community where everyone can flourish?
• How should we recognize our forebearers and whom should we honor?
• How do we respect both the needs of individuals and the responsibilities we have to our communities?
• Do we operate from a perspective of scarcity or abundance?
• How do we live out the commitment to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” for everyone?
• Does “We the People” really mean all the people?

These are not easy questions and the work of building a thriving community will take our ongoing attention. But the work will be easier if we do it together.

Living Faith*Fully recognizes that family is broader than the parents and grandparents that brought us into the world. The apostle Paul intentionally chose to travel the ancient world, seeking to cross cultural barriers and to establish flourishing communities that set aside differences to follow the pattern set by Jesus. In Colossians 3:12 he charged his hearers to clothe themselves with “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience,” the very gifts that we will need as we seek to bring our communities into balanced alignment.